Cautious optimism & a blabbermouth

Hank

First off, the good news: Hank's headache is marginally better. To plagiarize an earlier comment to this blog, sometimes all you get are baby steps. And these baby steps are in the right direction, so we're cautiously optimistic. Last night, Hank laughed. I was downright shocked at the sound. She hasn't laughed in so long, it really was music to my ears.

Of course, now that she's feeling a little less horrible, Hank is able to stress about the mountains of work she has to make up. It's pretty daunting but she'll get through it. I didn't exactly tell her that I don't care what her grades are - and after more than 8 weeks of this migraine trouble, I really DON'T care at this point, I'm just glad she's back in school - but I did talk to her about doing her best and moving on instead of stressing about it.

Better days for Hank, hangin' with her laser dogs

Abner

Abner, my youngest, is the best girl-child ever. With all of Hank's doctor appointments and so many cancelled plans over the last few weeks, Abner has never once complained or blamed her sister. My sweet baby!

Abner - all smiles on her birthday

Last year, one of Abner's friends at school got super-clingy, to the point that there was a serious "ick" factor. This particular kid has got it rough at home, and we love her dearly, so we didn't say anything. There is just no way to say to a child, "We love you, now BACK OFF." Abner toughed it out last year without saying anything to the Clinger.

This year, they have the same class again. I decided to get all Proactive Parent and asked the teacher for a private, confidential conversation. She pledged confidentiality and I asked if Abner and the Clinger could just NOT be in the same groups all the time. I gently explained that we love the Clinger and don't want her to be hurt, so dear Teacher please use your judgment and maybe help Abner get some space. My goal was to avoid Abner telling the Clinger to take a hike.

Which brings us to today. Abner just came home to inform me that the Clinger came up to her, sobbing, and apologized for being too clingy last year. Abner was embarrassed, the Clinger was heartbroken and I am furious. No one, and I mean NO ONE, knew about the conversation I had with that teacher.

She blabbed.

Stay tuned for a rundown on the upcoming parent-teacher conferences - I'm sure the subject of the Clinger will come up.

I dreamed

I dreamed that I ran. My legs and lungs felt so strong, the sun was shining and I was so happy. No PTSD-angered hubs, no sick child, no mean mom. Not even any chub rub. It was breathtaking.

Then I woke up and was horrified with myself. How dare my subconscious take a break from this? I felt so guilty.

But oh, what a glorious run it was.

Dangling...

My 14yo has had a migraine for over 6 weeks now. You read that correctly. SIX WEEKS. The neurologist we've been seeing doesn't seem to get it. We see him every couple of weeks, she's no better, he changes the meds, and nothing changes. She can't do any physical activity because it makes the pain worse. This bright, shiny girl who runs cross country and plays basketball and loves to be outside is gone, replaced by a poor thing who says, "Mom, my head hurts so bad," and can't stand bright light or loud noise. My heart is breaking.

The doc put her on daily meds that don't seem to help, so he increased the dose last week and PRESTO! There's a drug interaction and the side effects from the pain meds are much, much worse. Nausea and stomach pain top the list. So she gets to decide every day if she would rather have a vise on her head or a knife in her gut.

To top it all off, something is interacting with her birth control pills, so she's having a horrible period right in the middle of all of this crap. When she shouldn't even be having a period yet.

I called the doc when the latest trouble started. No response. His nurse even called me Tuesday afternoon to apologize because the dr wasn't responding. I called Wednesday, and he's out - and no other dr in the practice would see her. So we went to the ER, where an IV took care of the nausea and pain for a few hours, but today we're back to square one. The ER doc wouldn't change her daily meds, said we had to talk to the neurologist about that.

He has finally got time to see us this afternoon. In the meantime, I've gone back to the GP to get a referral to a neurologist at a children's hospital about an hour away. That's all set but they can't see us until October 1st. Which means I can't pulverize the current neuro just yet - will have to play nice until we can get away from him.

The last 72 hours have been horrific. Trying to be strong and calm in front of the kid. Resisting the urge to scream at receptionists when I know it is not their fault. Looking desperately around for someone to HELP US and tell me what to do. Fighting back tears of helpless rage every time I try to explain the problem to yet another doctor or nurse. Narrowly avoiding killing Hubs last night when he said, "She just needs to drink more water."

And, above all, dangling from the end of my rope.