- She's a cross-country runner and too fast for me to run with her.
- She can take along our German shepherd mix, Elvis, who weighs about 80 pounds and gets pissed if Hank's father even tries to wrestle with her.
- She can stay in town, such as it is, and avoid remote country roads like the one that featured in my last post.
- This kid is 5' 7" and just earned her brown belt.
The dilemma, simply stated, is that I want my girls to have confidence and freedom, but I also want them to live to a ripe old age with a minimum of violence and trauma. What to do? I even posted my question about this on a Runner's World forum and got all kinds of answers.
In the end, I said OK with a few ground rules:
- The dog always goes along.
- The iPod always stay home (so she can hear what is happening around her).
- She carries her cell phone at all times.
- She sticks to a pre-planned route, tells me when she leaves, and checks in as soon as she returns.
Of course, we've had the obligatory lectures (insert teenage eye roll) about following your gut instinct, avoiding any contact with others, head home or go to a neighbor's house if you think there's trouble, etc etc.
Hank has gone on two runs this week and is positively glowing with her ever-expanding independence. Of course, I'm hyperventilating and watching the clock while she's out, but she only goes a few miles and she's fast, so I don't have long to wait. (Another deet - I'm home when she runs, not far away at an office.)
Some folks think I'm nuts and some think it is great. We'll just do what works for us, I suppose...
Always do what works for you and what feels good to you, but realize that she needs room to grow & explore. With the ability to stay in or close to town, not to mention her height & the dog....not to mention you know about the run....it's smart. Allowing her to run will allow her to build her confidence & not instill the fear of the world & what "might happen". Buy her a RoadID or make her carry ID too. Even as an adult, 2 people always know when I'm running (or we if there's more than 1 of us), about how far I'm going & which direction I'll probably go. They get calls or messages when we get back.
ReplyDeleteAlways do what feels right - your daughter sounds as strong as you - trust her & her instincts, too. Don't be afraid to live & experience, it makes us stronger to do so - good AND bad. (But as a mother, protect what you can...)
Thanks for the encouragement. You understand exactly why we decided to make this work for Hank! (We have Road ID too - I think every runner should.)
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