So THAT'S what "freezing fog" means

This past weekend, my running buddy C (she's awesome!) and I decided to run 3 miles outside on Saturday morning. We have an 8 miler coming up in late February, so we had better get used to the cold.

Saturday morning, the plan was to meet at the park at 8:30am. The weather forecast said 32 degrees and a "chance of freezing fog." What the heck is that? As usual, I ignored it and went on my merry way.

Clue #1: Arriving in the parking lot, I managed to do a 180 just turning into a parking spot. It shocked me - the lot looked wet, so why am I sliding around? Undaunted, I sit in my car pulling on gloves, ear band, etc.

Clue #2: C arrives while I'm still in my vehicle, steps out of her car, and immediately wipes out. She fell so fast it was like she disappeared. Splat!

Apparently, "freezing fog" means that everything was covered in this invisible coat of smooth, slippery ice. We skated over to the trail to check it out, but no luck - the paved trail was an ice rink. Then we hobbled out to the sidewalk, thinking that would be better.

Nope.

After kidding ourselves (and almost breaking a few bones) for a block, we gave up and left. This story does have a happy ending, though; we came back the next afternoon and did our long run -- six miles, ta-da! -- on the same trail, just running the loop twice.

Take that, freezing fog! Thirteen miles this week, not counting elliptical workouts and the general chasing-after-the-kids exercise. So far I've managed to stick to my Runner's World program, but don't get too excited. This was Week One.

Back off, NRPs!

Do you have people in your house who don't run? I do. And good grief, my live-in Non-Running Person (NRP) never misses a chance to say something negative about running or get in my way when I'm getting ready to run. Or both. Even worse, this life-long NRP will offer advice. That would be like me calling up the next space shuttle crew and telling them how to get the shuttle doohickey properly hooked up to the space station whatsit.

NRP lurks nearby when I'm getting gear together and editorializes the process:

"You're going to freeze out there."

"Don't you need water?"

"Where is your phone?"

"You're running ALONE?" [I always run alone, maybe because I like the QUIET!!!]

"Explain to me again why you're doing this?"

And, my personal favorite: "You're wearing THAT?!?"

This rachets up to a new level when official events, such as half marathons, are involved. My resident NRP will snipe in the months leading up to the race about the cost, about how early I have to get up, about whether I'm prepared (from a person who hasn't run a step in, as far as I can tell, EVER).

On days like today, I'm one snide comment away from confrontation. But, then I remember that my NRP just doesn't get it, and never will.

For now, I'll just go for a run!

Training countdown; or, What have I gotten myself into?

Deep breath...

The OneAmerica 500 Festival Mini Marathon happens on May 8th this year. That's about 120 days. And when you currently have about 5 miles as your base, that's too freakin' soon!

Locals call this race the Indy Mini. The coolest part is that 2.5 miles of the course are actually a lap around the Indianapolis Speedway. I and 35,000 of my closest friends will run around the Speedway about halfway through our 13.1 miles. Last year was my first Indy Mini. It took so long for my slowpoke stall to cross the START line that the winner - who finished in about an hour, and I'm sure he was so smug about it - was almost done by the time my chip activated.

I took a self-portrait while on the Speedway part of the run last year. Note the scrawny chick behind me mugging for the photo:

My 13yo ran her first Indy Mini last year as well. She tripped in mile one, ran the rest of the way with blood dripping down one leg and one arm, and still set a PR. Momma is proud! (Good thing she runs faster than I do, or there would have been a brawl in mile 1 when someone tripped my baby.) She always, ALWAYS has this epic sprint at the end of her runs, whether it's a cross country 5K or a half marathon. Spectators go nuts when she pulls her Speedy Gonzalez routine at the end of a half. It is really something to see!

Not to be outdone, I also set a PR at last year's Indy Mini with - go ahead and laugh - 2h 57m. Hey, not bad for a chub who loves me some donuts!

Now, I'm trying to decide this year's goal: do I play it safe and say "anything faster than 2:57:00?" Or, do I challenge myself? Is 2:45 a realistic goal? Only time and the miles will tell. I'm considering using a Runner's World training program this time around. My training is usually something along the lines of Whatever I Feel Like Doing Today, so this could be interesting.

My official training starts Jan 16th. Stay tuned...

Meanwhile, the Penguin - John Bingham - has quit writing his Runner's World column. Sometimes I felt like he was the only other slow runner out there who understood me. We'll miss you, John; waddle on!

My 2009, in a nutshell, courtesy of All & Sundry. She doesn't know me but I love reading her blog! If you decide to blog your own answers to these questions, leave her link and she'll wonder who we all are.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? Some rather physical milestones this year for me, the woman least likely to be picked out of a lineup as an athletic type. I ran in the Indy OneAmerica Mini Marathon and set a personal best for the half marathon. This was my third half marathon and my teenager ran it with me. Well, she actually ran ahead of me. Also this year, I entered a martial arts sparring tournament and managed not to faint. More on that in #8, below…
Last but certainly not least, this year we celebrated our 18^th year of wedded bliss. Can you believe that? In a few years I will have been married for half of my life! Wouldn’t trade it – or him! – for anything.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolution, and will you make more for next year? I don’t make new year’s resolutions. Never have understood that. And all those resolution folks are in my way at the gym for the first six weeks of the new year before they all give up.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No. I’m getting long enough in the tooth that everyone close to me has already had their children or they are struggling with infertility, which is heartbreaking.

4. Did anyone close to you die? My poor husband has dealt with a lot; his mom’s side of the family is now all gone except for him and his sister.

5. What countries did you visit? Just the good old You Ess of Ay.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? Better focus on both the work and home fronts. My tendency to procrastinate created a very stressful 2009.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? July 20 – the day my healthy-as-a-horse mom fell on a sidewalk and shattered her kneecap. I still become enraged thinking of the two ladies who walked right past her while she lay there, crying and begging for help. Surgery, pain, pills and rehab for Mom; sleepless nights and round-the-clock nursing shifts for me. Hubs and the kids really stepped up and were a huge help, and the folks from church and the community rallied around us. The positive side of this is that we all pulled together to get through it.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Our instructor entered us in a tae kwon do tournament. Now, I make presentations all the time and speeches are a piece of cake, but the prospect of performing my form ALONE in front of a panel of judges, followed by a single-elimination sparring tournament, had me seeing spots. Right before we started, I couldn’t decide if I was going to faint or barf. Somehow, I held it together and finished with a first place for forms and a first place in sparring. The best part was completing the last match, which was with a good friend so we were really going at it, and seeing the shocked look on hubs’ face. Guess he had no idea I can now execute a crescent kick to the head. Having spent my childhood – and most of my adult years – with my nose in a book, I am so darn proud of those two medals!

9. What was your biggest failure? Work. I have people in a small firm counting on me and I took procrastination to a whole new level. Only God knows why these guys keep me around.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I rolled my ankle in a 5K fun run, which was supposed to be the kickoff of my training for a fall half marathon. The result was a high ankle sprain complete with a torn ligament, which put a halt to all running for months. Immediate weight gain ensued.

11. What was the best thing you bought? A new car big enough for us all to ride in comfort: a Hyundai Veracruz. If you’re laughing, you’ve never ridden in one of these vehicles and you are probably a snob.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? In the public eye? Sully, the pilot who landed a plan full on passengers on the Hudson. That was amazing!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Balloon Boy’s family. Dear God.

14. Where did most of your money go? Upkeep on the new-ish house and the purchase of the aforementioned car.

15. What did you get really excited about? Taking the family to Disney World. What can I say, it’s the happiest place on earth!

16. What song will always remind you of 2009? “Forever,” thanks to the wedding video that would not die.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
- happier or sadder? Sadder, I think. 2009 wore me out.
- thinner or fatter? A little fatter, but working on it.
- richer or poorer? About the same.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Spent more time hanging out with my kids and husband.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Work-related travel.

20. How did you spend Christmas? At home, cooking for 11 friends and family who all cleaned up after themselves. It was fantastic!

21. Did you fall in love in 2009? Nope, still in love with the same macho, macho man after 18 years of wedded bliss.

22. What was your favorite TV program? My guilty pleasure – The Biggest Loser. That Tracy chick was nuts, and I totally knew that Danny would win.

23. Do you hate anyone that you didn’t hate this time last year? Nope. I find it hard to hate anyone, it takes a lot of time and energy. Shunning works much better for me. That said, I’m pretty sure I hate my friend R’s ex-husband, but I would need a separate blog for all the crap that man has rained down on the heads of R and her beautiful children.

24. What was the best book you read? Hard to say, since I’m a compulsive reader and read hundreds of books in a year. I did manage to read all of the Twilight books at my teen’s insistence. Am I the only one who thinks Bella was a wimp? Sharpen a stake, honey – get in there and HELP, for crying out loud.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Sadly, nothing comes to mind.

26. What did you want and get? A Kindle! YES!

27. What did you want and not get? Happily, nothing comes to mind.

28. What was your favorite film this year? Avatar in 3D. Blew. My. Mind.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 40 this year.Hubs recently retired from the military and was finally home – for the first time ever – for my birthday. My dear friend R organized a surprise birthday dinner with a bunch of our friends, complete with black balloons and Over the Hill decorations.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? More time with hubs and kids – work took a front seat for me this year, but it felt like it was happening against my will. And Mom's injury sent me into a tailspin in terms of keeping anything on track. Definitely need to work on balance.

31. How would you describe your personal concept in 2009? I have no idea what this means. My motto this year was probably “hang on one more day.” It worked.

32. What kept you sane? Church, prayer, my children and my pal, R. You’re the best!

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Susan Boyle on Britain’s Got Talent.

34. What political issue stirred you the most? The insanity over healthcare.

35. Who did you miss? My sister-in-law, Pam.

36. Who was the best new person you met? A guy at work, we’ll call him Z, who has the same snarky sense of humor.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009. It is possible to survive on 1 hour of sleep per night, in an armchair, for three weeks straight. In a related epiphany, I’m not a nice person when I’m sleep deprived.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. “All work and no play/Makes Jack a dull boy/But all work no God/Has left Jack with a lost soul” –Casting Crowns

Effing salad! Exercise and diet adventures on the road

Monday:
Up at 5am to run in the hotel gym. Today's revelation is that trying to read the news crawl on the bottom of the Fox News Channel screen (that's right, this chick is a CONSERVATIVE but I swear I'm not contagious) makes me motion sick. Finally had to turn off the way cool treadmill TV to finish my miles. A quick a.m. call to the hubs confirms that, without me there for motivation, he did not go to the gym. I try not to sound pious and fail miserably.

Breakfast - yogurt
Lunch - nonexistent; client is laying an egg over some meetings this afternoon so I leave early for some handholding
Dinner - at 7pm, announce I'm going to eat my own arm, so the boss takes me to dinner: mushroom and brie soup, but at least I didn't eat the bread. One glass of wine.

Tuesday:
Up at 5am, back in the hotel gym but remembered not to use the evil treadmill TV. Just like yesterday, have the gym all to myself. During planks, daydream that this is my personal gym. Then I think, but who's going to dust all this crap?

Breakfast - yogurt and toast
Lunch - took a client to some trendy cafe and am now in a panic that eating out every meal for FOUR FREAKING DAYS is going to move me right back into my fat pants: salad, no dressing
Dinner - client holiday dinner, so I splurged on mushroom-and-spinach ravioli but was soooo good for dessert: berries and cream

Wednesday:
Eff the hotel gym, I am tired.

Breakfast - yogurt
Lunch - took a client out again and had, you guessed it: salad
Dinner - the boss threw a wine pairings party, so I ate 2 shrimp, one prosciutto-wrapped asparagus spear, one disgusting hunk of chicken, and one quarter-sized hunk of dark chocolate; was tipsy by the third tasting but hid it well

Thursday:
Decide that loading my 100 pounds (no joke, I weighed it) of luggage into the car and then schlepping it around at the airport was enough workout for me. The DC area is expecting snow in two days -- TWO DAYS -- and people are Losing. Their. Minds.

Breakfast - yogurt, which I may never eat again as long as I live
Lunch - another client holiday affair, so of course I had: salad
Dinner - in the airport where no one knows me and I'm starving after four days of effing salad: Five Guys greasy burger and fries, come to momma!

Friday:
Home at last: The Christmas tree has no water and the dog has dried spaghettios all over the side of his giant head. It's good to be needed! Climbed onto the scale and ta-da! I lost three pounds! Which is very exciting until I realize the cold, hard fact: I'll have to eat salads four days a week for the rest of my life if I want a dress size that does not have a W after it.

This week's goal: no Christmas weight gain.

As if.

Rule breaker, that's me

Have you read Mark Remy's The Runner's Rule Book? I have only read a few of the rules, since I'm hoping Hubs will get the 50lb hints I've been dropping and get it for me for Christmas.

Anyway, from the online picture of the back cover, this was my favorite:

Rule 2.32 Do whatever it takes to finish in front of a costumed runner

Which brings me to last weekend's 5K. This was one of those holiday 5Ks that involved running in 18-degree weather alongside people dressed up like Santa, elves, reindeer, and yes, even a Christmas tree. This chick had a giant burka of green felt hanging off her head and down her body, with garland and ornament-type stuff glued on.

(I SWEAR I am taking my camera on the next "fun run" I do so you can see these people. I do not make this stuff up.)

So, back to me. I ran a much better race than in September, when the ankle was still screaming "what are you DOING?" every time I ran -- well, shuffled -- more than a step or two. No ankle pain this go-round; I even shaved a few minutes off of my time, and happily headed to the (thankfully) indoor area for munchies.

While I'm chowing down on gingerbread cookies and bananas (don't ask), the Xmas Burka goes by. My teenage daughter rolls her eyes and announces how glad she is that she finished ahead of the tree. Then she looks at me, looks quickly away and turns red in the face, which is all the hint I need.

I FINISHED AFTER A FREAKING TREE COSTUME.

Sorry, Mark. I'll try harder next year.

Me and My Big Mouth

The hubs has been having back trouble lately. Very painful back trouble. A lot of it is courtesy of the military, but his post-military physique isn't helping. He has a grand civilian job -- where he has learned, among other things, that you cannot talk to people in the real world the way you would talk to your military underlings -- that keeps him pretty sedentary.

Doc tells him to lose weight. Wife gently suggests a little exercise. Nothing changes.

Then, he goes to a chiropractor last week and comes home with, "WOW! This guy says I should eat right and get some exercise!" Like it's news.

Here's where my big mouth comes in...

I'm ramping up my running again and need to lose some pounds before my next half marathon. Knowing that hubs leaves VERY EARLY for work every day, I actually suggest getting up at FOUR FREAKING THIRTY in the FREAKING MORNING to go to the gym so we can work out before he heads to the office.

And he said yes.

So, here we are on day 2 of Pre-Dawn Gym Time. The good news: we have our pick of cardio equipment. The bad news: by 9:30pm, I can barely keep my eyes open.

I should lose weight just on brownie points for getting up so early and helping someone else get to the gym. I weighed in on Monday -- no change, merci beaucoup -- and will do so again on Friday. I expect some progress, people!

Yawn.

UPDATE: Day 4, and he has lost almost 10 pounds. Moi? Nope, not a single pound lost. Sigh.